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  CHAPTER 4

  SARAH

  I speak with Dr. Collins, explaining the situation, and he’s very sympathetic. He assures me this is not the first time he’s seen something like this and says that Brad can come in first thing in the morning for a blood test. Brad and I exchanged cell phone numbers before he left the Bean this morning to find a hotel room. I shoot him a text, taking the chicken shit route, so I don’t have to interact with him. Dr. Collins said you could come in tomorrow at 8:00 am if that’s good for you. Bubbles appear almost immediately on my phone. I’ll be there! Short and cold, but what did I expect. Did I think he’d throw his arms around me and be thankful for his newfound family, and we’d all live happily ever after? I slide my phone back into my pocket and make my way to the pediatric ward.

  “Morning Mrs. Thorensen!” I'm greeted by Ashley’s nurse, as I walk past her station. “How’s she feeling today?” I ask, hoping Ashley had a good night. I usually call for an update before the sun rises, then head to the Bean to do some prep work before Harper comes in to open up. We talked last night about hiring some more help at the Bean until everything settles down. We already have Emily, a lovely older woman who works part-time for us, but we need more help because I’m starting to wear down. I normally arrive at the hospital by ten, so I can have breakfast with Ashley. Sometimes I head back to the Bean later in the afternoon for an hour or two just to give Harper a break so she can go home and spend some time with her son. Then I return to the hospital and spend the rest of the evening here with Ashley. Harper has been taking the bulk of the hours at the Bean, and the last thing I want is for both of us to get burnt out. Ashley insists she’s a big girl, and there’s no need for me to stay with her all day. But I love our together playing games, watching television or just quietly reading books. She so precious to me, and I don’t think I could go on if something happened to her. I Push the horrible thought from my mind, needing to stay positive for both of us.

  I laugh to myself when I enter the room and find Ashley with her cell phone glued to her ear, totally ignoring the annoyed nurse who is trying to take her vitals. She smiles, and holds up a finger, letting me know she’ll be off in a minute. Ashley is a typical, sweet, energetic thirteen-year-old girl, who loves spending time with her friends. Lately, they’ve been a little too boy-crazy for my liking, but then I think back to when I was her age. Enough said. She loves doing homework, which is the total opposite of me when I was a teenager, and she spends most of her spare time reading or playing video games. “I gotta go, my Mom’s here.” She hangs up the phone and grins when I hold up the bag of freshly baked cinnamon buns. “Hey sweetheart, I have your favorite.” I pass her a chai tea latte and pull the buns from the bag, setting them on the rolling tray in front of her. “How are you feeling today?” She sighs. “I feel fine, and I wish I could get out of here.” She pouts before taking a sip of her latte. I want to reassure her everything is going to be okay. At least there’s hope that Brad will be a match.

  I stand and walk over to close the door after the nurse leaves, giving us some privacy. “What’s wrong Mom?” She asks with a curious look on her face. I slide my chair closer to the bed, taking her hand in mine. “We need to talk about something, and It’s probably going to be a bit of a shock.” I mumble, inching closer to her. “Mom, why are you so nervous? You’re starting to freak me out.” “Someone I know is getting tested tomorrow to see if he’s a match.” Her face scrunches up in confusion. “Honey, I don’t know how to ease into this, so I’m just gonna say it.” I take a deep breath. “Ben is not your real Dad.” I swallow hard, waiting for her reaction, but her face is unreadable as she sits silently. “You know how Dad has mentioned his brother a few times?” She gives a slight nod. “Uncle Brad, Right?” I nod. “Well, before your Dad and I married, Brad and I…” I can’t find the right words. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know until your Dad’s blood test came back. Ben will always be your Dad, but he’s not your blood father, I’m so, so sorry.” Her eyes grow glossy, and the expression on her face is all screwed up with confusion, and shock. I reach for her arm, and she gently pulls away, crushing me. “I know you’re probably angry and confused, and I will answer any questions that you have, but I needed to tell you the truth.”

  She remains statuesque for the longest time, not saying a word. “Sweetheart, talk to me, I want to know what you’re feeling.” “I’m a little shocked right now, and I’m not quite sure how I’m feeling, to be honest.” She gives me a half shrug. “So Brad, my real Dad, is going to see if he’s a match? He doesn’t even know me.” “Honey, he flew here from California as soon as I told him.” “So he’s here now?” She asks, surprised. “Yes, I saw him this morning, he’s coming here tomorrow to be tested.” “Huh!” She lets out a harsh breath, and lifts her head to look at me. “How is Dad taking it, he called and said he would be here later to visit, but he never said anything?” “He didn’t take it well, I’m sure he’s hurting. Ben will never stop loving you or being your Dad.” Ben was a terrible husband, but he always tried to be a good father. It was difficult with him away from home so much, but I know in Ashley’s eyes, Ben will always be her Dad. Ashley sniffles trying to fight back tears. I sit on the edge of her bed, engulfing her into my arms. I feel like the worst Mom in the world. The guilt is excruciating, knowing I’ve caused her this pain. With everything this sweet little girl is going through, this is the last thing she needs. I can’t stop the tears running down my cheeks. “It’s okay Mom, everything is going to be okay.” I have to laugh because I am the one who should be consoling her, yet she is the one who always tries to make me feel better. “Can I meet him?” She questions. “Of course you can, he’s looking forward to it.”

  We talk some more, and of course, she has a million questions. I'm amazed at how well she is taking it. A little while later my phone dings, and I pull it out to find a text message from Brad. Have dinner with me? My heart begins to beat a little faster, and I hesitate with my reply. I cant, I usually stay here at the hospital until 8:00. His response is quick. I’ll bring food to your place at 9:00.

  CHAPTER 5

  BRAD

  I'm not sure why I texted her and asked her to have dinner with me. But after sitting in this crappy hotel room all damn day, feeling sorry for myself, and trying my best to hate her. I end up cursing “Yours truly” and regretting every decision I’ve ever made. There is still so much more I need to know, and more we need to discuss, so why not over dinner? Honestly, the thought has crossed my mind that Ashley could be mine. Hell, I’ve even fantasized about it. Dreamt that one day Sarah and I would find our way back to each other, and finally have a life together. The day I left, leaving her behind, was the day I stopped living. Yes, there’s been women in my bed, but I don’t do typical dating or hearts and flowers romance. I use a high-class escort service when I need a quick fuck. God, I’m so fucked up. I get what I need, and It’s convenient, discreet sex with no strings. I always make sure the women are satisfied before I kick them out, I’m not a monster. I mean if a woman is willing to spend hours looking good for me, come to my house to pleasure me, the least I can do is make sure they're happy. But It’s always Sarah’s face I imagine when I close my eyes, and Sarah’s name on my lips when I come. Sometimes I get an odd look afterward, but I pay the women well, and they tend to not ask questions. I’ve never even had one serious relationship in my life, I don’t do romance or need useless conversation. It’s quite funny that I’m a heart surgeon, yet I don’t possess a heart myself. Maybe It’s because I lost It so long ago? I’ve dedicated my life to my work, and that has made me a damn good doctor. I genuinely care for my patients, but I’ve been growing tired of it all these past few years. I’m exhausted at pretending, acting as if I’m happy with my life. I need more. I’ve always needed more, always striving for more, yet never finding contentment. Maybe Its time I get what I want.

  So that’s how I ended up standing here on Sarah’s front porch, holding Chinese takeout and a che
ap bottle of wine. The lights are on, and there’s rustling coming from inside while soft music plays in the background. Sarah opens the door just as I’m about to knock, looking sexier than ever in a pale yellow sundress with her golden blonde locks tied up in a messy ponytail. She’s a goddess, her face void of make-up, tiny freckles dusting over her bare shoulders, making me want to take a bite out of her. So damn beautiful. I hold up the bag of takeout and a bottle of Riesling as a peace offering. She grins, snagging them from my hand before moving aside to let me in.

  Her house is tiny and charming, decorated with a cheerful, southern flair that matches her personality. I walk into the open spaced living room and immediately get a warm feeling. The walls are painted in a cream color and there’s an oversized, pale blue couch in front of the picture window. It’s warm and bright and inviting, and It feels like a home full of love. But what catches my eye is the wall full of pictures, all of an adorable, vibrant, happy young girl. Ashley at different ages, some at the park or the beach. She’s smiling in every one of them, a smile identical to her beautiful mothers. God, she’s a carbon copy. Suddenly, I feel bitter thinking of all the years I missed watching her grow up. I feel like Sarah is reading my mind as sadness begins to cloud her features. “She’s a lovely girl.” She mutters staring down at the floor shyly. “I don’t doubt it. You raised her.” I’m quick to respond, and she blushes at the compliment. “I told her about you, she want’s to meet you.” My mouth curves into a smile at the thought of meeting her. “I can’t wait."

  Sarah’s quiet at first, almost nervous, as she sets out some plates for the food. I pour us a glass of wine, hoping It’ll relax her. “Tell me all about her.” We sit down to eat at the small farmhouse kitchen table. Sarah's entire face lights up, and once she starts talking about Ashley, she can't stop. “She sounds perfect, just like her Mom.” Her cheeks blush and her mouth curves into a shy smile. “She is perfect, but she's a teenager, a teenager going on thirty, enough said.” My grin quickly falls as I ponder the fact that I know nothing about children or teenagers. “What kinds of things does she like?” “She loves spending time with her friends. She likes books, music, and school. She just loves life. Oh, and all of a sudden her and her friends have become a bit boy crazy.” I scowl, suddenly irritated at the thought of some hormonal little teenage prick touching my daughter. Not if I have anything to say about it. “I’m not sure I approve of that.” She giggles and shakes her head at me. “I’m not sure either one of us has a choice in the matter. Discovering boys was bound to happen sooner or later.” Her smile fades. “There’s a dance next month at school, she’s wants to go so badly. We’ll have to see what happens.” I notice tears threatening in her eyes. “Brad, I can’t lose her, she’s everything.” I rise from my seat and wrap my arms around her where she sits, and all I can think is, please god let me be a match.

  We munch on orange chicken and pot stickers, and before I know it, we’ve drunk the entire bottle of wine. I get the sense Sarah hasn't had a relaxing evening like this in a long time. I wish it could be like this every night. I have a million questions about Ashley’s illness and treatment, and I make a note to call my friend back in Los Angeles in the morning. He specializes in pediatric oncology, and I need to ensure Ashley is getting the best care possible.

  Sarah begins clearing the plates, and I follow her every move in a trance. She is the only woman I’ve ever wanted. It has always been her. I place the empty wine glasses on the counter next to the sink where she stands. Settling next to her, our shoulders brush as we stare out the window into the darkness. My pulse quickens, as I reach my hand out to brush back a loose piece of hair from her eye, just needing to touch her. My heart is pounding out of my chest. She keeps her head down, avoiding eye contact with me, but I'm desperate to see her face. I notice when her breathing becomes labored, she’s flustered, and I know she feels it too. The spark, the energy that exudes between us, however you want to explain it, It’s still there, has always been there.

  She turns her body toward me, gazing up with heated eyes, and I can’t seem to move a muscle. She inhales a deep breath, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, tempting me even more. I can't fight it anymore when her cheeks pin-ken and her lips part. I lower my head and cover her mouth with mine, stealing her breath away. She lets out a tiny gasp, her body still tense. She relaxes into me while I trail lazy kisses down her neck. “You are even more beautiful than I remember." Her hands quickly fist my shirt, and she slips that greedy little tongue into my mouth, lighting my nerve endings on fire. I tighten my grip on her waist, and my pulse kicks into overdrive when I inhale her sugary sweet vanilla scent. She deepens the kiss as though she can’t get enough, firing shivers down my spine. She moans into my mouth and it travels straight to my dick. She reaches up and wraps her hands around my neck, pulling me in tight against her breasts, and I can feel her chest rising and falling heavily. I curve my hands around her breasts, my thumbs circling her hardened nipples through the thin material of her dress. Her hands roam everywhere, my chest, my waist, my back, lighting up every inch of my skin with desire. I’m beyond turned on, and I’m sure she can feel my erection straining against her core. I shouldn’t want this, but my body still craves her after all these years.

  All I can hear is Nine Inch Nails pounding in my head. “We shouldn’t be doing this.” She murmurs, breaking the kiss, panting and breathless. She’s probably right, but I don’t want to stop. “You should hate me.” She whispers. I loop my arms around her waist and pull her in tight, rocking my hips into hers, letting her feel my desire. My cock is excruciatingly hard against her center, and I feel the heat radiating from her sex. “Does this feel like I hate you? I could never hate you.” I tilt my head down, my mouth finding that spot on her neck just below her ear. “Jesus, I want you so bad. I’m going to worship you then I’m going to fuck you until you can’t remember your name.” “Yes, please,” She whispers as blood surges through my cock. My dick is so fucking hard the zipper of my jeans is cutting into it. I have to will myself not to lose control or this night will be over before It starts. I lift her dress and slide two fingers into her panties, knowing what I’ll find. I run my fingers through her warm, wet, heat and she moans my name onto my lips. Her hips buck when my thumb grazes her clit, and I know I’m driving her crazy. “Brad, Please!” I lift her up, and she instinctively wraps her legs around me. “Bedroom,” I demand then spank her ass. “Hallway,” She gasps inhaling a breath, before attacking my lips once more.

  With her arms still around my neck, we stumble down the dark hallway, while she continues to feather soft wet kisses across my face and neck. “Jesus Brad, I never thought this would happen again.” She nods toward the bedroom door on the right. We burst into her room, and I gently drop her onto the bed. I swiftly strip off my shirt, and let my jeans drop to the floor. She kicks off her sandals then tentatively begins to remove her dress. I can’t take my eyes off of her when her perfect mouth-watering breasts spill out. The moonlight trickles through the openings of the blinds, casting a light glow into the room and I’m reminded of that night fourteen years ago. “I’ve waited so long for this Sunshine, tonight we're taking our time.” The vision of her is a dream come true, her juicy breasts, those tight pink nipples, begging for my mouth to be on them. "I'm going to worship every inch of your body, Sunshine." I release her ponytail, allowing her hair to fan across the pillow as she lies back on the bed. “Brad!” One lone tear drop escapes from her eye, so I kneel on the bed and climb up her body to kiss it away. “Don’t cry, Baby. I’m here now.”

  Kissing her tenderly, I start from her forehead continuing down to her lips. I kiss her face, and her neck, not wanting to miss one single spot, needing to make up for all the missed years I should have been kissing her. A tiny whimper escapes her lips when I take her delicious, tight nipples into my mouth, sucking firmly, giving each one my attention. “Yes, please Brad,” Her little moans have me dying to be inside her. Her body arches into my touch as
I reach down to cup her sex, still focusing and teasing her succulent breasts and cherry pink nipples. I rise off the bed feeling the loss of her warm body immediately, our eyes lock onto each other. She squeals when I gruffly pull her body down toward the edge of the bed and fall to my knees in front of her. “Brad," My name falls from her lips like a plea. I slowly Draw her lacy beige panties off and take my time slowly kissing up and down her smooth legs until she groans. “Brad, please, I need you.” I drape her legs over my shoulders, tugging her hips to the edge of the bed enough so that her ass is hanging off, and I spread her wide. I take my time inhaling her addictive musky scent, before I brush the seam of her pussy all the way up to her clit with my tongue, lapping up her sweet nectar. She tastes just like I remember, sweet like honey, salty like the beach. I quickly lose myself, in her taste, her scent, her sounds. Devouring her like I’ve been craving this for a million years. My hard on is raging, and pre-cum is seeping out uncontrollably as I feast on my woman. My woman! I’m so worked up, a slow tingling forms at the base of my spine, and my limbs begin to tremble. I could live in this moment for the rest of my life. “Yes, Brad, Yes!” She cries out, her body writhing and arching. Her fingers rummage through my hair, her nails digging into my scalp and her words turning into unintelligible gibberish as she wildly rides my face. “Oh my god, yes!” She frantically pulls at my hair, my neck, my shoulders. Her hips buck, as she grounds her pussy shamelessly against my face, begging for more. “Yes, please don’t stop.” I’ll never stop. I plunge two fingers into her wetness, curving them for her pleasure, working her to the edge of bliss, as I suck and lick and nip at her clit. “Fuck Brad, Yes, I’m…” Her pussy clamps down hard and she shatters. Her legs tremble as she continues to pulse and a rush of warmth spills onto my hand. I stand, placing my fingers into my mouth, and suck them clean. I relish the beautiful, satisfied look upon her face. I know at this moment, if she lets me, I’ll do everything in my power to put that look on her face every day, for as long as I live.